Whether it’s the concept of losing your youthful beauty, having to become dependant on others, or being unable to do the things you could once do with so little effort; growing old haunts us all in one way or another. With time acting as the most precious yet unfair concept in our lives, as humans live longer today, we all inevitably grow old. As time takes us through our lives, we start to appreciate different things, hold a different perspective on life and learn to prioritise our time on this planet with more care.
The eerie shadow of time follows us all, inevitably leading us into old age. Now a days our way of perceiving growing old is influenced by societal norms and culturally limiting beliefs. In the Western world we see ageing as a burden instead of a path. Believing our youthful, unwrinkled and energetic selves to be the best part of our life, we see the future as this dark cloud looming over our heads. To grow means to indulge in life, learn from others, understand yourself, get to know the world around you and ultimately to live your life. If wisdom flourishes as we get older, then why shouldn’t our old and wrinkled selves be the best version of us? Because we care more about our aesthetic beauty than the beauty of our mind. If we grow up preparing ourselves for the ageing process as a burden, that’s exactly how it will feel. Instead if we hold a more positive and natural self-perception in the story we tell ourselves about whom we are becoming with passing time, we will live to look forward to this chapter in our lives.
In the eyes of Buddhism, our increasingly fragile bodies and minds are sacred, and worthy of the greatest kindness and care. Truthfully, respecting our ageing at every stage is the greatest kindness we can offer to ourselves, as well as those we love. Buddhist mindfulness practice is a form of meditation, which makes you listen to your body and understand what is changing, not only physically but emotionally. Buddhism’s perception on life itself is to look candidly and directly at what is happening and try to learn from it. Once a man came to the Buddha and said: “Sir, I am now elderly, worn out, far gone in years, approaching the end, always physically sick and ailing. Tell me something cheerful and comforting that will benefit me for a long time” .The Buddha replied: “Train yourself like this – Though my body be sick, my mind shall not be sick”.'(àturakàyassa me sato cittaü anàturaü bhavissati, S.III,1).These words of wisdom are a positive and convincing reminder that we can be emotionally stable, happy and content despite physical decline.
So what if age is just a state of mind? Limits become illusory, the impossible becomes possible and the process of ageing becomes something of “mind over matter”? Of course, in order to age well we are told to take care of ourselves by eating well, sleeping enough, exercising regularly and so on. But as much as we try to preserve our youth, we will inevitable grow old as with shrinking muscle mass, thinning bones and human limits take over. Can it be possible that our mind illogically takes over our body and exceeds limits which we did not think possible? Yes. There are elderly people who are remarkably fit for their age, beating world records and making us question what age really is. A study by American psychologist, Ellen Langer, found that when elderly people played out their “youth prime” (something which makes you feel young) they become physically and mentally stronger, ultimately re-calibrating their bodies. So what if you could control the way your mind responds to your body? Growing old would be a completely different story, mentally and physically.
The stories we tell ourselves about ourselves matter a lot in the end, as they shape our self perception. The way we take in societies stereotype on ageing plays a part in how we think about ageing and how we think we should age. Advertisements on ageing create concrete societal norms and culturally limiting beliefs, making us doubt ourselves, associating old age with negative barriers. What if we had a more positive view on ageing, believing that growing old is nothing to fear? Faith, belief and purpose: these are forces which have vital importance to our ageing process.
Dolphinmind 